Blog Jammer

Dear God Pt. 2

2009-03-23T22:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry.

Looks like you had something to teach me after all.

Please don't get mad when my tiny brain (which you designed, BTW) can't comprehend your motives.

Love,

Dave

Dear God...

2009-03-16T02:36:00.001-07:00

We are in a fight.

Love,

Dave

A little update

2009-02-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can't believe how fast time flies.

Just in case you're not in the loop, I am back in school now.

I'm plugging away full-force on the MRI tech thing and loving it.

This anatomy class I'm taking during the winter session is pretty brutal it's scope and intensity, but it's been a great way to really jump in with both feet. I'm absolutely loving being back in a full-time school environment.

Luckily, with a little planning I've been able to dedicate myself to the intense time demands of the class and still squeeze in some some good hang time and some solo time to keep my head from bursting. Which it has threatened to do.

I was at TJ's pad recently. Nice night. Watching some 24. Drinking a beer. Enjoying the much needed hang time. School and anatomy are the last thing on my mind.

Or so I thought.

In the midst of the brain gelatinizing TV sesh were some commercials. As expected.

Car commercial: fine.

Fast food commercial: fine.

Movie trailer: fine.

Everything is fine. Dandy, even.

Then disaster strikes. In the form of a Bowflex commercial.

Seeing those rippled, body-fat lacking bodies threw some switch in my brain. Synapses start firing and the next thing I know, instead of enjoying some peaceful, brain-disengaging bliss, I start rattling of the names off all the muscles I can see on the screen.

Honestly, I feel bad for TJ.

Watching one of your best friends melt down at the site of a well-defined latissimus dorsi can't be comfortable.

An Open Letter to the Women I've Dated (or tried to)

2008-12-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

Distinguished Ladies,

As I embark on a new phase in my life, I think it's only natural to reflect on the things that have transpired in the phases previous.

If there's one obvious thing I can pull from this time of introspection it is that God is pretty good to me and if there's one thing He's blessed me with in overwhelming abundance it's quality people in my life. Even in an environment where the "average" person in my life is anything but, something about you stood out to me. You possess some inherent, intangible quality that cast a glimmer I couldn't ignore, that I had to do something about.

You've all been so complex and special and wonderful and I just wanted to say, "Thanks."

Thank you for sharing your time with me. For making me laugh. For teaching me something about myself. For making me want to be interested in the things that are important to you, just because they were important you. For making me want to be a better version of myself.

It is my most sincere hope that I was able show you not only that I understood how very special you are, but how important and special you were to me specifically.

I also hope that that you continue to grow into the woman that God intends for you to be for the Godly man you so richly deserve.

Even if it's not me.

Fondly,

Dave

Too cute!

2008-11-12T13:35:00.000-08:00

I saw this video on Boing Boing today and I just had to share it.

It's of a little French girl making up a story off the top of her head. It's too freakin' adorable.

My dad used to make up lots of stories when I was a kid and would encourage me to make up my own, so maybe that's why I find this so amusing.

Anyway, my favorite part is the face she makes when she's asking her mom how to say "shield."

Enjoy!

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Wow...

2008-11-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say a quick "thank you" to everyone that posted such positive comments on my last blog post.

Things are crazy and tumultuous in my head right now (primarily in a good way) and it's a tremendous encouragement to hear from some great people that I'm on the right track.

Self-awareness, slow-smoked over a mesquite fire

2008-10-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

Um, hey.

It's a little late and I think I'm just writing to get in the habit of doing it more often.

I've been using twitter lately (rossdave) and have enjoyed the very immediate, bite-size nature of it. It's a neat way to get these little, random stream-of-consciousness blurbs from people I know. Amidst all the "I'm eating lunch."-type chaff I've been able to glean some neat, little insights into the lives of the people I care enough about, or find interesting enough, to follow.

I've been in a slump lately and I did some real work today in regards to researching the medical imaging stuff I've been thinking about pursuing. Feels good to put some effort into taking care of my future.

A friend of mine recently spouted some quote from some "really successful" guy and the gist of it was that you get success in this life not by doing what you love, but doing what you're good at. It was a real refreshing change from the usual type of "chase your dreams and success will follow" stuff I hear all the time, especially from other Christians.

What if my dream is success? Not in the Cartier/Lamborghini/mansion way, but in the "I have a meaningful job where I affect people in a positive way while earning a reasonable wage that allows me to take care of a family" kind of way. Doesn't it then make sense to look at my skills and strengths and then determine what job would be best served by those skills while fulfilling the aforementioned criteria?

Health care starts making a lot of sense right about... now!

I love music and I love brewing. A lot. But they don't really stack up when you consider the things I must have in a career. I can't just do what I love and hope that it accomplishes what I need and want it to.

If I have a picture to hang up, I need to consider what the best way to put a nail in the wall is, not just do what I like to do and hope that the picture makes it up there somehow. I could play a song for the nail, cover it with a dry rub and throw it on the grill or toss it in my brew kettle. Those are all things I love to do, but they have nothing to do with solving my problem.

I'm off to go get a hammer.

Hmm...

2008-10-16T01:18:00.000-07:00

I'm dangerously close to doing this again.

I've been thinking about it for a few days and it seems like a good idea.

Things are bubbling like crazy in the ol' noggin and some sharing sounds about right.

We'll see.

Anderson Valley 20th Anniversary Imperial IPA

2008-06-08T00:51:00.001-07:00

Buy some.

Don't think.

Just buy some. And be happy.

Six weeks? Really?

2008-04-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

What up, Brian, Chrissie, Matt, Jeni and Becky?!

Sorry if I missed you, but I think those are the people that actually read my blog with any regularity. [It's weird to think that this thing gets read with more regularity than it gets written. But I'm getting ahead of myself.] If I did miss you, say something so that I know who I'm disappointing. MAYBE you can guilt me into writing more.

So I had a goal of posting every Friday. Didn't really last.

Unfortunately, that's just one of many things that I like to do and is important to me that I've been neglecting.

Can it really be that important to me if I neglect it though?

If that's true, and many of the things that I say or consider to be of importance to me are really not important to me at all, well, that just makes my head hurt. (I almost put in a freakin' smiley here. I *must* be in a damaged emotional/mental state.)

More tomorrow, I promise!

2008-03-01T02:48:00.001-08:00

It's still *kinda* Friday, right?

I went to Canter's tonight. It was delicious.

I'm going to bed. Talk soon.

Twice in a row makes it a tradition, right?

2008-02-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

Hey, Kiddos.

So the last time I posted was a Friday as well, so maybe I'll try giving you a post every Friday as a kind of recap to the week. We'll see how quickly we get tired of it.

This was an incredibly beer-intensive week, even by my usual standards.

On Monday I went over to my good friend (and brewing partner) Bob Kunz's house and tried some tasty beers with him and his rockin' wife Tiff. We started with a fantastic farmhouse wheat that Bob brewed. Dry and a little spicy with a nice, mouth-filling wheat character, it really was a great beer. From there we went on to Rodenbach, a Flanders Red. It's a very characteristic beer with a distinctly sour tang and a somewhat vinegary acidity. It was nice, but I prefer the Rodenbach Grand Cru, which is the straight wood-aged version of the beer as opposed the the 75/25 blend of young beer and aged beer in the regular Rodenbach. The Grand Cru has a huge, immediate sour tang that you can't ignore, unlike the the more subtle sensation of the regular beer.

From there we went on the Hair of the Dog's Blue Dot Double IPA. It was a little rough around the edges, but for sure was a tasty west coast IPA, but nothing that would change my life. I actually thought it was similar to the IPA that I brewed recently (and preferred), and I tend to be a little overly critical about my beers.

Last was the Black Flag Imperial Stout. Inky and redolent of coffee, it seemed like another good entry in the increasingly crowded field of American Imperial Stouts. However, the first sip betrayed that this beer has a whole other agenda from other similar stouts. The beer had a really dry, sharp roasted malt/coffee quality, that lacked the astringency one might expect with that flavor, which contrasted sharply with the more rich and sweet coffee and chocolate flavors one gets out of these beers. As it warmed up a very appealing smokiness started creeping forth from the finish and onto the palate.

As much fun as I was having with Bob and Tiff at this point, I had to run off to my first prep class for the BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program) exam!

Here we mostly focused on a broad overview of the exam, touching on the format and the breadth and scope of the questions. What became really apparent was just how much I was going to have to study to do well on this exam. One of the more daunting tasks will be filling out a scoresheet for an imaginary beer that is a "world class" example of any one of the 73 possible styles that the test will encompass.

Another cool thing about the class is that it will expose me to lots of beer styles that I'm not familiar with. That night we went over light (in color) lagers. We tried six beers, four of which I had not had before. It was cool (and frustrating) to have such similar beers back to back and try to separate out the aspects that makes them different. It was a great exercise and I look forward to doing it more often.

I bottled my latest batch of Corruption, my Belgian Strong Golden Ale, and am excited to drink it! I made several minor changes to the recipe and process in an attempt to get the beer a little closer to my vision and in my preliminary tastes I think they were right on the money. We'll find out for sure in a couple of weeks when it's all carbonated and ready to go!

Then there's the homebrew club meeting I went to last night. Tons of fun to have some beers with lots of other beer enthusiasts and brewers. This month's style was Belgian Strong Ales and we had some nice homebrewed and commercial examples to sample.

I did just write a lot about beer, and I hope it's enjoyable, but I kind of did it to prove a point:

This week focused a whole lot on beer and not a whole lot on God.

I did have a killer bible study on Wednesday, but that's one thing compared to four distinct beer events I enjoyed during the week.

This new pursuit is really vital and important to me, especially as I try to make a career out of it, but that can't come at the expense of my relationship with God. I'm trying to combat the train of thought that says I have a test in a few months that I really need to concentrate on and that if God falls by the way a little bit, that's okay because I have a lifetime to deal with that.

It's more than a little uncomfortable when I have several very important things I'm trying to juggle around and prioritize well and I see one of them very clearly take the lead in importance over my spiritual life.

New Look, New Feel, Same Name, Same Dave (for now)

2008-02-15T15:23:00.000-08:00

Hi.

It's been a while. Sorry.

Anyway, change is afoot in my life and I thought that now would be a good time to starting writing and sharing again.

To get you up to speed, music is now a serious hobby instead of a career pursuit. I have left physics in the dust, but may take some microbiology and chemistry to help with my new calling... brewing beer!

Brewing is a beautiful overlap of art and science and it has lit a fire in me the likes of which I've not experienced since I first became enamored with music. I have fallen in love with the process and it is my most sincere aim to get a job at a brewery and eventually open a brewpub in Los Angeles and get some Angelenos excited about craft beer. A tall order in a town full of people drinking Bud Light, mojitos and Red Bull and Vodkas, but I think that I'm just the kind of clever devil to do it. My current step in that process is taking a prep class for a June exam to become a certified beer judge! It's an extremely tough test that requires tons of technical knowledge and rote memorization of the taste, texture and smell attributes, ingredients and process of 25+ beer styles, each of which has several sub-styles. It's a mountainous task that I pleasurably slave on.

I have been invigorated with a charge to improve my life in every possible way.

I go to the gym (almost) every weekday and am trying to be selective and aware of the things that I eat. Maintaining a calorie deficit is not exactly easy when I have to have beer with dinner most every night, but it's trade-off I'm more than willing to make. I want to be the best man I can possibly be and health and longevity are a big part of that picture.

Along those lines, I have a renewed spiritual zeal as well. Painting a picture of Christ with my life everyday is a struggle, but it's one that I'm willing to make. My very human nature makes it a beastly challenge, but I strive to lead a Christ-like life as a byproduct of having an active relationship with Him. To aid that pursuit, I'm part of a very challenging, very scholastic bible study (with homework!) that is a joy, as well as a pain, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

So I'm artistic and passionate with lofty goals for turning that passion into a sustainable business, smart enough to wrestle with college level science courses, fervently chasing the overall goal of being the best possible version of Dave Ross that I can be, have a laid-back, affable manner and charming good looks that fall somewhere between Brad Pitt and the Elephant Man, so I must have a rockin' girlfriend, right?

Not so much. I managed to nearly bungle a really important friendship just today and am having a hard trying to lick my wounds and scratch my head at the same time.

This life thing is hard, but I'm playing to win.

Traffic Induced Puns

2007-11-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

So I'm on the freeway today and I get cut off by this monstrous, 1980's van conversion. It's license plate read "PWR MOV" and I thought to myself, "I wish he would power MOVE out of my way. Heh, heh, heh."

FYI, I'm alive

2007-10-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

I owe you.

I owe you beer reviews, my random observations, a couple cool CD's, Egypt pictures and "the funny."

I'm not gonna make any excuses, but I'm gonna be back on it shortly.

Promise.

D

It's the little things...

2007-08-25T07:18:00.001-07:00

Apparently, in Egypt all the light switches are installed upside down
and there's no such thing as fitted sheets.

I miss America.

Walk like an... Oh, never mind

2007-08-20T04:50:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in Egypt.

It's wonderous. I'm still kind of digesting everything.

I saw the pyramids.

I rode a camel.

It's all very surreal.

The roads and traffic are easily the most frightening and captivating thing I have ever seen. Lanes are thought of as suggestions and yielding is an unknown concept. Pedestrians fling themselves into the streets and the crs barely swerve out of the way, much less slow down. The bus we are riding around in actually clipped some guy's shoulder with its mirror. Looking at the street from my hotel balcony is like watching some sadistic real life version of Frogger. Awesome.

It's great to be in a totally different environment and be the foreigner for a change.

There's so much more to come, but my head is reeling.

Giza, suckas!

2007-08-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce to you...

2007-07-28T12:13:00.001-07:00

Folks, I recently brewed my first batch of beer and that is the label that went on the bottles. (Thanks, Comer!)

I've been wanting to make beer for a long time and I finally made it happen about two months ago.

The beer recently finished carbonating and I had some friends over last night to try it. I was a little nervous as this was my first attempt at brewing beer and I decided not to try any beforehand and went in blind to share the same fate as my brave friends. The first time I had a bottle of homebrew my friend handed me the bottle and said, "It's got a pretty weird aftertaste, but you get used to it after a while." That was an understatement. It tasted like Ajax and mildew. It was atrocious. With that in mind, I would have been happy with, "This isn't too bad," or something along those lines. So I broke out a few bottles, poured everyone some of the beer, clinked glasses and held my breath as everyone took a sip.

Well, it turns out that the stuff was pretty good. Not just "not terrible" or merely "drinkable," but it was good. Like, "Hey, Dave, can I grab another bottle?" good.

The brew was actually in the ballpark of what I intended it to taste like! I made a porter and it had the roasty chocolate malt sweetness and the slightly bitter hit and coffee notes from the black patent malt that characterize the style. There a few things I would want to change, but we're talking fine-tuning. A little more body, a touch more hops, etc.

It was SO satisfying to see my friends enjoy a beer that I had crafted. It was even more encouraging to have them be amazed that my first effort came out so well and be so excited to try my future brews as I grow more comfortable and skilled as a brewer.

It was a fantastic night in a lot of ways and I look forward to seeing where this new venture in my life leads me.

Album: Effloresce by Oceanize

2007-07-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

So I just picked up this KILLER album called Effloresce by a band named Oceansize.

I tend to like music that has complicated parts that don't overshadow the song as a whole while employing a wide dynamic range and creative sonics. Oh, and it also has to rock.

It's really perilous because when you put to much emphasis on the parts you end up with Dream Theater. I want something that is intellectually and emotionally engaging, not something to listen to while I play Dungeons and Dragons and make 1:18 scale models of the Millenium Falcon.

Oceansize fits the bill. The sound is all over the place, but cohesive, and reminds me of parts of other music I love blended together in an interesting way. One of the main influences I hear is latter-day Faith No more. The singer often evokes Mike Patton's wild howls as well as his eerily unsettling croon. The guitar has plenty of Rahiohead-like OK Computer ring mod and whammy sounds, while also bringing the aforementioned Faith No More's guitar sounds with shades of Porcupine Tree, Incubus (die-hard FNM fans themselves) and even some quieter Tortoise type sounds.

I'm not super familiar with the album yet, but I can see this being a favorite in the long run. It's frenetic, structured, loud, quiet, complex and flowing all at the same time. It's a mighty album, give it a spin.

Beer Review: Samichlaus

2007-07-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm a sucker for good packaging. I guess I'd like to think if a person/company puts so much effort into something's container that that must be just as true, if not more so, for that container's contents. What can I say? I'm an optimist and a romantic. It's a very practical combination, I assure you.

Anyway, last time I was at the Beverage Warehouse this bottle of Samichlaus caught my eye. It's satiny, near-black purple label with its intriguing picture of a hooded old man and with it's intense, gothic script were too much to pass up. Especially since this potent beast weighs in at a ferocious 14.5% ABV. As an aside, it turns out that "Samichlaus" means "Santa Claus" in the Swiss-German dialect of Zurich, where it is made. Turns out that's who the hooded old man is. Apparently they make this stuff once a year in honor of the old guy. In any event, what really lured me in was the speculative claim printed at the bottom of the label in plain block letters:

THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY BEVERAGE IN THE WORLD

No graphics, no exclamation points, nothing. Not even a period. Just one very bold claim that was about to be put to the test.

Let me cut to the chase: I didn't like Samichlaus.

I had no idea what to expect, so it not meeting a pre-conceived notion (which can ruin anything in any avenue of life) was not what led to my disappointment. It was simply just not a beer I cared for.

It poured a beautiful, dark honey color with almost no head. The honey look carried over to its incredibly sweet nose. This thing just broadcasts the aromas of honey and sweetness like it's its job. Somehow it managed to taste even sweeter than it smells with almost NO alcohol taste. Considering its extremely high alcohol content, that feat alone might make it live up to its speculative claim. Anyway, there's no balance here. No even a trace of hops to temper the malty sweetness. It's a sugar hammer, right to your mouth.

Samichlaus was simply much too cloyingly sweet for my taste and I poured most of it out. Honestly, though, its sweetness and viscous body kinda reminded me of a port. I'll never down another bottle on my own, but could see splitting one with a few bro's over some cigars as a bargain port substitute.

Thanks for nothing, Santa.

A title would only serve to cheapen this moment.

2007-07-12T15:52:00.001-07:00

I wonder if...

2007-07-05T20:06:00.001-07:00

... the word "dranken" will ever be assimilated into the English language.

To the wannabe rocker guy on the bus

2007-06-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, you got it part right. Sunglasses, black T, jeans and boots.

First of all, ditch the Faux-kleys for some Ray-Bans, even if they're fake too.

You can keep the Clash t-shirt, it's the only part you got right.

The light stonewash jeans need to go, though, bro. Think more like the James Dean that smoked and drove a Porsche roadster than the Jimmy Dean that sells chubs of sausage.

Your boots were okay, but Skechers? Really?

But, most of all... thank you. Getting a glimpse of your lyrics notebook will definitely be the highlight of my day. I believe that your tortured refrain went something like:

"Hey, strange lady.
In your sugarnight way,
Let me fill your empty
cave.
Hey, strange lady.
Won't you be my baby
and let me steal your vacant
sign."

Thanks a mint, friend. Thanks a mint.

Oh, My...

2007-06-16T03:12:00.001-07:00

I'm in Chicago. It's 5 AM. Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald porter is amazing. I am standing at some lake shore and watching the Sun come up.

This is what it's all about.

I love you, The Onion.

2007-06-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Okay... so this totally nullifies my prior post about making fun of people.

I'm just complicated like that.

Study: Many Americans Too Fat To Commit Suicide

Pending Beer Reviews

2007-06-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hey, there.

So I have a fridge FULL of choice libations for me to tell you about,
but I've been a little swamped lately. I took my final in my physics
class last night (which I rocked, BTW) and should have more time for
putting up some new reviews. I've actually gone as far as to not drink
the beers of which I only have one so that I can give them my full
attention.

Believe me, to pick up a beer and realize that I can't drink it because
I don't have time to review it is hard.

Really hard.

So I've been pulling from my recent sixers of Victory Brewing's Hop
Wallop and Deschutes Brewery's Obsidian Stout. Both very tasty in
totally different ways. Reviews also pending.

So does this mean that I need to buy beer specifically for reviewing and
other beer for more relaxed drinking? Just make sure that I get two of
each? Ugh. Decisions, decisions...

Is it really making fun if it's true?

2007-06-06T08:52:00.001-07:00

As I reread that title, I'm not even quite sure how to take it.

My initial point was to say that if poke fun at someone, particularly a stranger, about something factual, isn't that more of an observation? Therefore making me not a jerk, but instead aware of my surroundings by talking about it? It's not mean, it's clever and observant. Right? Right?

I read the title again and the opposite starts to feel true. Are you really *just* making fun if it's true, or is that when it becomes mean?

I guess that I should back up a second here.

I'm on the bus right now and there is this woman in her 50's across from me. I was going to write about her peculiar monochromatic outfit and her tendency to probe her nose as if she were in the bathroom instead of a what is effectively a roomful of people.

As I started to formulate my rant on this woman's curious choices, I felt the need to justify it with my title. That's when I realized that I was crossing over from being funny to being mean.

Sure, it might seem harmless and random on one hand, but if she were to have read what I was going to write, she probably would have cried.

I want to make people cry. From laughing. But not if someone has to shed real tears over it.

So, I ask you... Is it really making fun if it's true?

Bargain Beer Corner / Reply to Becky

2007-06-01T13:19:00.001-07:00

This is a reply to a question from the fabulous Becky Bloom, but I guess that everyone else can read it as well.

She asked me what some quality brews that she and her hubby Greg can pick up from Trader Joe's might be.

Becks, you're in luck as TJ's carries two of my all-time faves at the bargain basement price of $5 a sixer!

First on the block is Stockyard Oatmeal Stout, brewed for Trader Joe's by Goose Island Beer Company of Chicago, Illinois. It's a little light in body compared to most stouts which makes it a little more approachable for people who don't typically gravitate towards dark beers. It's really delicious and full of the roasty, malty, chocolate and coffee flavors you'd expect from such a beer without being heavy or too sweet. A definite winner and awesome intro to stouts other than Guinness, as it is quite different from it.

Next, we have Wittekerke, a Belgian White Beer. This beer's closest cousin is the ever-popular Hefeweizen, but this style has the signature additions of ground coriander seeds and dried orange peel, giving it a very distinctive, but subtle, flavor. This THE summer beer as it's light and finishes a little dry with faint citrusy and yeasty notes. Wittekerke is such a unique beer, but people tend to LOVE the stuff, regardless of whether their idea of a good beer is Corona or a Sierra Nevada or whatever. Just try it. It is a benchmark for the style and a total bargain. You NEED this in your hand on a hot day. Promise

So there you go, Becky! I hope that you and Greg (and everyone else) try them both and give them a 10.

Or maybe a 10!

Tonight... The Most Extraordinary Beverage in the World

2007-05-29T14:00:00.001-07:00

At least that's what it says on the bottle. Honest.

Samichlaus is the brew and mighty is its claim.

Weighing in at a hefty, hefty 14% ABV if it doesn't live up to it's own hype, I probably won't care.

Moylan's Hopsickle Imperial Ale aka Beer Review #1

2007-05-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

I love beer.

I love beer like I love Jesus, my life and Brian Colmery.

I'm going to start posting beer reviews (and hopefully reviews of my other vices, as well) here on a fairly regular basis. I guess that I'll have a use for the tags after all.

Okay, on with the show!

First up on the block is Moylan's Hopsickle Imperial Ale.

This beer promises to be a hop bomb and is highly hopped with Tomahawk, Cascade and Centennial hops. These are all very west coast hops (especially Cascade).

The beer pours a slightly hazy, rusty copper color. It has a very tight, modest cream-colored head.

The aroma is incredible. I love really hoppy beers and this one is unique in that it actually smells like a handful of fresh hops. It has very prominent tar and pine needle aromas. Again, very indicative of it west coast hop profile. Now, I'm not terribly familiar with the stuff, but this beer smells like weed. Cannabis and the hop vine are closely related and this stuff smells like the inside of Dr. Dre's studio. Anyway, the hop smells dominate with very little alcohol (despite weighing in at 9.2%) or malt in the background.

That aroma carries over in to the taste. While quite bitter, this is not a hop bitch-slap like, say, Stone Ruination. The overwhelming impression is a really deep, slightly spicy hop flavor that is backed up by the bitterness and not the other way around. It's a huge, citrusy (grapefruit) affair that recedes into a lingering, peppery finish. It's not at all a balanced beer and there is just enough of a malt background to keep the beer from being too one-dimensional and surprisingly little alcohol taste for such a potent beer. This is not necessarily a bad thing and should be expected from a beer with the word "hop" in its name.

This beer is very refreshing. Literally, with it's dryish finish and figuratively with it's amazing actual hop flavor, instead of a flavorless, punishing hop bitterness. It's a solid pick for the certified Hophead and someone looking to move into hoppier beers alike.

Really, Dave? Really???

2007-04-25T11:45:00.001-07:00

So I just fired up the ol' G-mail, which has the (sometimes) nifty little ticker thing at the top that displays random headlines and whatnot.

This one happened to read:

"Irish Times - Potentially habitable planet found"

And my first thought was, "What? Is it made of whiskey? Hahahahaha. BURN!"

No way!

2007-04-23T17:34:00.001-07:00

My bus driver just flipped off the car in front of her and started tail-gating her and honking the horn continuously.

And then nearly forced her in to a bank of cones.

It was awesome.

It's pretty scary when...

2007-04-23T17:27:00.001-07:00

... I see a pretty girl and the first thing I check out is her left hand.

What a Glorious Day

2007-04-10T08:52:00.001-07:00

Sunday was one of the best days of my life.

I had to write it twice so that you could understand that that statement is a truthful one and not at all an exaggeration.

Sunday was Easter and I woke up with a little of prayer (it was even the thankful kind and not the Magic Genie kind) and this palpable excitement because it was so vivid to me in that moment that Jesus rose from the dead after having died for your and my salvation.

That's a little long to type twice, but the same feeling applies.

I would be a dirty liar if I did not concede that a good deal of that excitement was because I was about to play bass in front of 12,000 people at the Hollywood Bowl. Playing the Bowl has always been one of my musical dreams and to have that happen in a worship context with some of my closest friends in the world, well, I don't think that excitement was uncalled for.

After the service I got a chance to see and catch up with a lot of people that I typically don't get a chance too. I am such a relationship driven guy and it felt really great to catch up with a lot of friends that I don't get to see enough of.

My awesome day is not yet over, but I'm typing this on my phone and my thumbs are not quite up to seeing this long post through in one sitting.

More to come.

Why does this resonate with me SO much?

2007-04-06T12:17:00.000-07:00

I love The Onion.

I think that you're no strangers to that concept.

The Onion is pure satire.

Gooey, delicious, sarcastic satire.

So imagine my surprise when I read an article that really struck a chord with me. I mean, I really, really, really resonate with the subject of this article.

How's about that for a head-bender?

Area Man Just Wants To Throw One Good Punch In His Life

Snappy Title TBD

2007-03-14T11:55:00.001-07:00

So I'm waiting for the bus (the beginning to a LOT of my stories) and this truck pulls up in front of the bus stop. It's a recent Ford F-150. A nice enough truck, but nothing to write home about either.

Anyway, this truck is bone stock, save for an emblem by the front wheelwell that says, "22 " - SIZE MATTERS."

So I look at this emblem, then over to his 17" factory wheels, back to the emblem, and back to his 17" factory wheels.

As I scratch my head in puzzlement, it hits me:

The guy must be a Christian.

He is "speaking it in to being."

Reno 911

2007-03-06T21:35:00.001-08:00

Reno is great, except for my Uncle Bill. He keeps buying me drinks and making me smoke expensive cigars and forcing me to gamble his money.

It's really all quite terrible.

What is this thing?!

2007-03-05T09:57:00.001-08:00

Okay.... so I generally think of myself as a pretty sharp guy, but I have to concede that I have NO idea what this thing is. I have seen them lurking in the closet of just about every hotel room I have ever been and usually stare at it quizzically for a moment and move on with life.

Not anymore.

I have decided to take action and do something about this knowledge gap and ask you fine folks what this thing is.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

My life is so random...

2007-03-04T22:19:00.001-08:00

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

2007-02-27T12:04:00.000-08:00

Where to begin?

School is in full swing. It's only one class and I am glad. There is not a ton of homework for this class, but... I HAVE FREAKIN' HOMEWORK TO DO! Sitting down with my textbook for two hours and doing problems and exercises is just weird. Couple that with the actual class, which takes about five hours round trip twice a week, and study time and it's a big time drain. Though it was kind of like that before, I now find myself planning time to hang out with my friends weeks in advance. EVERYTHING now goes in my calendar.

That having been said, it's totally worth it. The lab component of my class is not quite as much like Mr. Wizard or Bill Nye the Science Guy as I had envisoned, but the subject matter is fascinating. We are doing the basic laws of motion kind of stuff and I am just eating it up. Maybe I'll end up as some kind of mechanical engineer. Who knows?

So, as you might have pieced together, I am excited and ready to hang up my "career musican" hat and prepare for a full-fledged return to academia. Which is weird because as soon as I made peace with that decision, I got for what could be a big/promising audition. Colmery did astutely remind me that sometimes we have to lose our lives to find them.

Um... okay....

2007-02-10T18:34:00.000-08:00

This head-scratcher comes from our friends from the land of the Rising Sun (and, apparently, really weird video games). I went to a Roller Derby in Little Tokyo on Saturday (that really deserves a post all it's own) and saw the "Japan Arcade" and knew that I had to stop in and rid myself of some quarters immediately.

This game looks like some variant or modified version of House of the Dead with, you guessed it, a computer keyboard instead of a gun. It seems that you have to press the correct keys as they pop up on the screen, kinda like some violent and cracked-out version of DDR.

If I am going to kill zombies, I'd rather do it with a good ol' fashioned gun instead of a keyboard; That's too much like being at work.

I went ahead and did something crazy...

2007-02-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Rip Van Winkle...

Some of you hadn't seen the beard in all it's furry glory,
so I thought I'd tack up a picture for posterity.

The innocent-looking halls of Purgatory

2007-02-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

His parents must be SO proud!

2007-01-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

Icarus by Jonathan Weiner

2007-01-30T18:00:00.000-08:00

Another reason Utah must die...

2007-01-30T13:45:00.000-08:00

It was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf!

2007-01-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

For some inexplicable reason, some friends asked me to play bass for them at their church's Christmas party. That doesn't sound like a big deal, until you realize that we played a Spinal Tap song.

In costume.

Below is a video, for the brave and the curious. I'll throw up the standard musician's disclaimer and mention that we only practiced this song for an hour or so right before we played it and think it was pretty good, considering. It was completely ridiculous and a ton of fun. Enjoy.

Stonehenge

Homeward Bound

2007-01-27T10:33:00.000-08:00

Matt and I are in the truck on our way home from Sundance. We just got through Salt Lake City and it is a horrible, desolate place. It was covered in a disgusting, murky fog completely different from the lush, white carpet of fog that often covers San Francisco. The whole town had a palpable, bleak wretchedness about it. Even the food we got there made me feel gross. Just driving through it made me feel terribly uncomfortable.

Coming home feels like a two-edged sword. I'm excited to get back to my friends and family, but slpping back in to my routine doesn't sound too appealing. There was a real satisfaction that I felt from working with my hands that I've never experienced in an office. The ability to see an instant result from my effort was really refreshing. Exerting tremendous amounts of effort, seemingly in vain, with no tangible or visible results seems to be a recurring theme in every avenue of my life: scholastic, career, personal, whatever. It feels like I work and sweat and pour myself out to crack open a safe and instead of diamonds, I find a lump of coal.

It felt really, really good to see the direct product of my work, even if it was something as simple as making t-shirts.

my pants are sad :(

2007-01-24T19:04:00.000-08:00

Park City, Utah... my home for the next few days.

2007-01-19T08:37:00.000-08:00

See! They DO look like the Hamburglar!

2007-01-18T23:36:00.000-08:00

It's cold here!!!

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000-08:00

I forgot the warmy bag...

2007-01-18T15:36:00.001-08:00

Oops!

Road Trip!

2007-01-18T14:15:00.001-08:00

I'm on the way to Park City, Utah with my roommate Matt for the Sundance film festival. He's screenprinting shirts for a promotional event for VW, one of the festival sponsors. I'm coming along to give him a hand, have some fun and make a little dinero. Win-win.

We took off yesterday morning and stayed in some random Nevada town called Mesquite. We dramatically brought down the mean age of the denizens of Mesquite. Upon entering the restaurant in the Eureka hotel's casino, we spied not one, but TWO colostomy bags. I ate a huge steak and Matt told the waitress that it was my birthday. That was a lie, but I can't turn down free cake.

The middle of Utah is our current location. It's 21 degrees outside and there is snow everywhere. It's really flat and desolate, but really beautiful in a stark sort of way.

Most of you know that I'm somewhat of a technophile. I just got a new cell phone and it is awesome. It's a T-mobile Dash, a qwerty smartphone. I actually wrote and sent this post on the phone from the passenger seat while Matt takes care of the driving. I'm still figuring out how to post pics from the phone. I'll keep you posted.

good eatin'

2007-01-18T12:04:00.000-08:00

This is NOT what I ordered...

2007-01-17T00:01:00.001-08:00

You know that utterly confused feeling you get when you are at a restaurant and you reach for your Sprite, but inadvertently grab your glass of water instead?

My life just did that.

Post labels?

2006-12-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

For a brief moment, I considered going through my backlog of posts and assigning labels to them. This especially seemed like a good idea since I have a pretty good mix of the serious stuff from my ever-churning soul and the random musings from the murky depths of my mind.

But then I just wanted to label all of them "awesome" and since that wouldn't really do anything, just assume that they are all awesome.

Thanks.

If you can't be a romantic and an audiophile at the same time, I'm in big trouble...

2006-12-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

So I'm on the bus on my way to work today and I see this teenage couple sharing the earbuds from the guy's ipod, each with one earbud in their ear.

My first reaction was something like, "Oh... how cute! They want to listen to the music at the same time!"

Then, the auralist in me reared it's ugly head, screaming things like "How inane! They're messing up the stereo field! Don't even get me started on instruments that are hard-panned... they won't hear them at all! One of those dumb-asses probably can't even hear the high-hat! HAHAHAHA"

I can't sleep.

2006-12-27T02:05:00.000-08:00

It's 55 degrees outside, and colder still in my house, but that doesn't stop my face from burning.

My mind is racing with fragments of conversations that don't yet exist.

I've listened to this same song for the past hour, but it doesn't seem like enough yet.

There is a hard, tight knot in my stomach and when it comes undone, it just might be worse than not having it there anymore.

Got any slaw?

2006-12-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

Every other week I get together with a group of guys for cigars and scotch and some good round-table conversation. The topics are usually God and girls, or the lack of either.

Anyway, since the SoCal weather has turned inclement (below 70 degrees) we've taken to using a firepit during these nights to stave off the bone-chilling winds. However, since the meeting takes place moderately close to the beach, the air is damp, which means the wood is damp, which means that it takes forever to get the fire started, which also means that the fire creates TONS of smoke. This is a small price to pay for precious, Doc Marten melting heat(don't ask. actually, go ahead and ask.), even when the smoke burns your eyes, like some You-Tube video you wish you could un-see.

I've grown a full beard lately and I'm pretty fond of it. It's a responsiblity that doesn't come without it's caveats or pitfalls. I have to wax it all the time, carry around a food comb, but it's worth it. Well, turns out there's another negative: Smoke adheres to beards. Like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth or a grabby, hormonal teenager and his new ladyfriend.

So for a few days, I smell like a delicious brisket, or camping.

When I shower, it smells like a forest fire.

My friend brought over his new Boston Terrier and it worked my beard like an ice cream cone.

I'm going to need more beard wax.

Blogging from the hip

2006-12-13T22:45:00.000-08:00

So this is one of those potentially precarious times when I sit down to write with no point necessarily in mind. If I offend or amuse, then I guess my work is done.

Right now I'm listening to the incredible album 'a future lived in past tense' by the band Juno. It definitely does not diverge from the steady diet of Shiner and The Life and Times I typically feed myself, and that ain't at all bad. It's just really complex and beautiful rock music. The loud stuff being interspersed with not loud stuff makes the loud stuff louder. I never really thought of it, but these dynamic variations can mimic the tone of my life and perhaps that's why I connect with this music so strongly. I am not a lyrics guys, instead looking for a passionate and honest vocal delivery. I'm looking to make an emotional connection on very base, physical levels as well as on higher intellectual levels. Just check out the album and I hope that you like it. It's equally the room shaking thunderclap as it is its gentle echoes.

I'm phenomenally excited about this physics class I'm taking in the spring. I really enjoy learning new things and I love nerding out on my new obsessions. I just hope that I'm not the only guy that is stoked to be doing these experiments. Actually, that could be great if the prof is cool. I'm a little apprehensive about studying and doing homework and things of that ilk after having taken such a long break from school, but what good is life if you can't put yourself in situations where you are being stretched and learning new things about yourself and the world you find yourself in?

Speaking of being stretched, well... okay... this might be preemptive. Moving on. Let's just say that some new and good and interesting things are happening in my life. The school thing, I had a cool afternoon at the studio of a pretty cool songwriter that an hopefully provide me with some contacts/work/etc. I'm in a place where I'm taking my faith more seriously than I ever have before. I'm achieving some real growth and it's really exciting. In any relationship that you want to nourish, you need to invest time with that person to make it grow and deepen that bond. That is true whether I am referring to a friend, a new and amazing girl I'm interested in or... [gasp] God! If I want to be closer to God, I need to spend time with Him. A close relationship doesn't happen overnight and it certainly doesn't happen it by willing it to happen. The closest and most important relationships in my life are a result of work and investing myself and my time into them. It's foolish to think that that would be any less true of my relationship with God.

Did you ever notice...

2006-12-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

that some fast food containers look like the Hamburglar? It's true.

I'll try to find proof.

No, really. For fun.

2006-12-07T14:44:00.000-08:00

A little update on my career crisis.

I'm not giving up on music yet.

However, I am going to take a class this spring. It's a conceptual physics lab and I think it's going to be pretty sweet. I love science and I think this class might be a good way to kind of test the waters for a potential return to the world of academia. Plus it just sounds fun. Yeah, you heard me.

It's two nights a week, so I might be a little less available for those of you I have the pleasure of seeing in the flesh. If you're desperate to hang out, maybe you can come over and help me make a model methane molecule out of foam balls and pencils.

Just thought I'd share...

2006-12-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

A little piece of my past I dug up recently. This was my old, old bio on my myspace page and it gave me a chuckle.

Being stupid would be awesome. There's no pressure involved. Your screwing up is taken for granted and nobody cares. On the rare occasion you actually do something worthwhile, praise is heaped on you and you feel like a hero.

Being smart is for suckers.

It’s refreshing AND filling!

2006-11-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

So, I was waiting for the bus and I saw some guy eating a cucumber.

A whole, huge, unpeeled cucumber.

He was totally going to town on it, with a smug, satisfied look on his face.

I think this might be a hot new snack trend.

Will It Blend?

2006-11-27T14:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I just found the most radtacular website called, "Will It Blend?" from a company BlendTec that makes these super powerful blenders. They feature some guy in a lab coat shoving random things in the blender to see what their pulverization will look like.

A handful of pens? Why not?!

A whole Thanksgiving dinner? You'd be stupid not to!

Want to see a full beer bottle get liquefied?
OF COURSE YOU DO!

It's all kinds of stupid and dangerous, but guy is wearing a lab coat! That has got to make him legit, right?

The best thing is that this appeals both to my manly sort of fascination with gear and machines as well as my 10 year old boy desire to see stuff get broken.

Reply to ShoreGirls' Comment

2006-11-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

ShoreGirls had this to say about my last post:

"To be honest, I think that being perceived as that kind of man is even more important than actually being that man." Um, I beg to differ . . . and I bet you a dollar that if you give that control over to God, he's not going to a) stick you to your couch or, b) send you out to be a missionary with a heart that is set against it.

First of all, when I said "To be honest, I think that being perceived as that kind of man is even more important than actually being that man," what I probably should have written was,

"To be honest, sometimes I think that being perceived
as that kind of man is even more important to me than
actually being that man."

I sometimes struggle with the idea that I desire to be recognized as being that kind of man. Ultimately, I am a hold-the-door-open, keep-my-word, be-there-for-my-friends kind of guy because I think that it is good to do so in and of itself. When I falter in that pursuit, I am sometimes more concerned with how that might affect how people see me rather than how that might affect the substance of my character or how it impacts the people negatively affected by that failure and I hate it. It bugs me that I might derive more satisfaction from someone saying "Dave Ross is a stand-up guy" than the fact that I might have been a blessing or positive influence on someone by being that kind of guy. I think that when the tide turns and someone is spending more time trying to control people's perception of them rather than being a righteous person in the first place that they are setting themselves up for a fall. So, ultimately, I was not saying that the perception of the man is more important the the man himself. Quite the opposite, I was voicing my frustration in combating that very thought.

Secondly, I think that I owe you a dollar. You are totally right in that God does not intend for me to be a couch potato. My fear is spinning my wheels while waiting to "find out what God's will is for my life." I'm not sold on pre-destination and I don't think that there is necessarily one specific thing that God intends for me to do with my life. I think that many people drift through life while waiting for God to hand them an explicitly detailed map of what they should do with their days on earth. There is a strong temptation (that I'm currently wrestling with) to mislabel that inaction as a holy waiting period for a divine revelation. I don't want it to sound like I doubt that God has specific things that he wants me (and each of us) to do in our lives, but I do think that obsessing over and waiting for that kind of direct guidance for every big decision in our lives can be negative in the long run when we become frustrated that God is not micro-managing our lives. I think that much more good would come from letting the final determinant of my actions be whether or not their end result would be pleasant to and glorious of God rather than waiting for their inception or initial inspiration to come from God's mouth.

So, it's been a minute

2006-11-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

So, an over due update to my dedicated readers. All three of you.

I don't know. Bear with me, this e-mail is pretty free-form. I'm the Ornette Coleman of words.

Music is slow. It sucks. I want to play bass for people for a living and the phone ain't exactly ringing off the hook. I have no idea where to start making relationships with producers that can employ me. What's a producer really do? What am I supposed to do?

I'm kind of hitting a crossroads where a career in music maybe isn't the most appealing thing in the world to me anymore. That kind of dashes to pieces a big part of my life and probably what is an even bigger part of my identity. If not bass, then what? I don't see myself being a psychologist/counselor/whatever anymore. I'm not ruling out going back to school, but what for? Not for what reason, but for what course of study?

I'm just at a total and utter loss for anything even resembling an inkling of not just what I want to do with my life, but what I'm *doing* with my life. Is this how forty-year-old men end up hawking newspaper subscriptions in front of Target?

I find the idea of really letting God "take control" of my life terrifying because I don't want to end up sitting on the couch, waiting to catch some glimpse of whatever I think His will for my life is, or being sent to Uzbekistan as a missionary or some other random possibility.

I really feel lost right now. All I know is that I want to be a real man. An old-school, chivalrous, bound by honor, true to his word, moral and respectable man. To be honest, I think that being perceived as that kind of man is even more important than actually being that man.

I feel like a bullet outside of a gun. I have this huge amount of potential energy stored up inside of me, but it's completely useless in and of itself. I just need to get placed in the right environment, put in the right direction, and then BAM! The trigger gets pulled and it's gone, unstoppable.

Overheard Conversations

2006-10-16T14:06:00.000-07:00

SO, I'm a big fan of hearing snippets of conversation in passing.

Somehow there are words or phrases that just leap out at you from a
conversation that you're not even a part of, even when you are not
trying to listen in. For example, my roommate Matt and I were
in Westwood and we were walking by a young couple who were kind of
lovingly toying with each other's hands. And we heard this exchange:

Boy: You have the tiniest little girl hands.
Girl: Yeah... my ex-boyfriend used to call me "fat
hands."

So, Matt and I burst into uproarious laughter. It was great.

Anyway, I said something last night in a conversation with my friend
Tina that definitely would be a good contender for someone else's "Overheard Conversations" blog. In the interest of preserving the moment for you, the "over hearer" you don't get any context. Enjoy.

"I just really feel the need to propagate my genetic material."

Shiner - Kevin is Gone

2006-10-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ah, Shiner... Shiner is one of my favorite bands of all time. Shiner is a band that I wish I was in. They, sadly (very, very sadly) have long ago broken up, but their catalog of records towers as a triumph over a sea of bland, derivative rock albums.

This song, Kevin is Gone, and and it's sweet, simple video are pretty representative of this group as a whole: Simple and austere, yet brimming with complexity and just plain cool.

This song boasts some nice, catchy melodies, cool harmonies, and dense, bristling layers of guitar over a relentlessly driving, slightly overdriven bass and crushing, precise drumming. There is an awesome, recurring figure that gets constantly morphed through song, ultimately ending up in the hands of righteous bass player Paul Malinowski over muted guitars.

This stuff benefits equally from calculated precision as it does from a primal, jagged rock swagger and I just totally love it and eat it up.

I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do.

Shiner - Kevin is Gone

Haha! I got Phil's Arm!

2006-10-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, turn up the speakers so that you can hear all the swear words.

Deeeeeeeeeeep Thoughts... by Jack Handey

2006-10-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I think that I posted this link a long time ago, but I've
recently rediscovered this huge list of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts.

Seriously, they just bring me joy and make me happy in an inexplicable
manner.

Here's a favorite:

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Go experience the goodness for yourself!!!

Let's see Jared eat THIS bad boy!

2006-10-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

So my friend Erika was telling me about this sandwich that she'd heard
about. This is a sandwich that I really want to eat before I die.
Judging by it's contents, I might be eating it *right* before I die.

It's called the "Fat Louis" and it's a French roll stuffed with fries,
mozzarella sticks and chicken tenders covered with marinara sauce and
more cheese.

Apparently you have to go to the fair to get one.

Throw in some fried Oreos and a couple of beers and that sounds like a
nice, balanced meal.

I'm also a big fan of the pastrami burrito dog from Pink's. This
gut-bomb is two hot dogs and a pile of pastrami covered in chili,
grilled onions and Swiss cheese wrapped in a huge tortilla.

Which one of these gastronomic wonders would win in a cage match???

If the cage is your stomach, you're the one that is going to lose. Promise.

Hot Damn! I'm an Artist!

2006-09-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

I made this picture of my buddy Kyle in the "Paint" application that comes with Windows.

Lemme know what you think...

2006-09-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Just Thinking Out Loud...

2006-09-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

If I could combine Lisa Loeb and Rachael Ray into one girl, I'd pretty much do whatever it would take to marry the resulting girl.

I'd call her Loebra, because it rhymes with "cobra."

Let's face it: Cobras are bad-ass and so is my imaginary wife.

It's like if John Coltrane got it on with the Bible Code

2006-08-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

So I just read this cool story on alto saxophonist Rudresh Mahanthappa's new album of out Jazz, Codebook, whose melodies and rhythms are primarily derived from numerical sequences and patterns, like the Fibonacci sequence or the drummer tapping out his own name in Morse code.

Sweet.

Websites I like #1

2006-08-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but there are some random websites I'm into and I want to share, so I'm just going to throw some up here sporadically. Who's up first? That'd be Woot.com.

Woot is an interesting commercial site that sells one product each day at a great price. If it sells out that day, they don't sell anything else until the next day. The goods are pretty random, usually somewhat tech or gadget related, and usually a pretty smokin' deal.

The real draw here is the blurbs about the products. They are really sarcastic and witty and always make me laugh out loud. Not to pat myself on the back, but if I wrote ad copy, I think it'd be close to this. I've yet to buy anything from them, but I still try to check it every for a pretty much guaranteed laugh.

Oh. My.

2006-08-03T16:22:00.000-07:00


Baby Got Bible... it's amazing.... Amen, double up, A-MEN

Okay... but I can't exactly sharpen my bass now, can I?

2006-08-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

So… I just got through eating lunch from Panda Express. As I was heartily chowing down on my Orange Chicken, listening to Failure's superb album Magnified, I was also checking my e-mail. I received an e-mail from an artist for whom I had laid down some bass tracks recently.

I recorded five songs over two nights and changed my strings between the two sessions. He liked the sound of the tracks with the brand new strings so much that he decided to throw out the tracks from the first night and recapture them. However, due to some scheduling conflicts, he decided to have someone else redo those tracks, as well as four pending tracks.

This kind of bummed me out because this guy is a friend and I really enjoy playing and working with him and I really wanted to contribute to the making of his album, not to mention that it's work I won't have anymore and I'm trying to get as much studio experience as possible right now. Add in the monetary loss as well and this sucks on many levels.

What might be bothering me the most is that two songs I recorded (as well as the time and effort that went into recording them) are going in the trash because I tried to cut a corner. Spending $20 on a new set of strings and 10 minutes to put them on would have meant that those songs would have been on the album. That's not even true... I already HAD the strings and didn't change them until after the first night, even though I had thought about doing it beforehand. So, my hard-won lesson in the narrow scope is to always have brand-new strings on for a session, but more broadly, that a little bit of preparation would have ensured the duration and quality of my work.

As I'm mulling this over, I've finished my meal and tear open my fortune cookie to find this tucked inside:

A wise lumberjack always has a sharp saw.

And it hit me…

If fortune cookies really talked, I'd be way less cavalier about eating them.

Werewolf Update

2006-07-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

So... I'm not feeling quite so creeped out by the changes I'm seeing in my life or, more accurately, not knowing what is causing those changes or what they are for.

What might be even creepier is that I'm starting to put the pieces together.

Turns out, I'm growing up.

Not that I'm exactly still a little kid at 25, or not an adult, but I'm a pretty long way off from that wife and kids and mortgage thing most adulthoods consist of. And I guess that that's what all the hullabaloo is about.

I'm not quite ready to trade in my relatively carefree life for a stroller and a diaper bag, but having a family is really important to me. I've often said that being a good father is the highest achievement a man can have, but like anything important, it's going to take more than good intentions.

I've definitely been a spur of the moment and "cross that bridge when you get there" kind of guy, which has its merits, but, God willing, I have 50 years or so left on this globe and the things that I do right now are going to shape what those 50 years are going to look like.

I would hate to make this all about money, but it is an important part of our lives. I've just started reading a book called "Your Money or Your Life" whose goal is to address the problem of consumerism and to help you focus on deriving satisfaction from your relationships as opposed to your things. The idea is to reduce your cost of living as much as possible by living a life of modest comforts and luxuries so that you can work a job that you actually like, but work as little possible so that you can spend more time doing things that are important to you, while creating a substantial savings for the future and eventually stop working and live off of the interest of your investments/passive income streams. All this while being environmentally friendly and spending your new surplus of time and money by giving back to the community. It all sounds pretty lofty and romantic, but there seem to be some really good principles here. I'll keep you posted.

The book seems really eye-opening and revelatory, but the really revealing thing is that I'm reading it in the first place.

It's tangible. Almost.

2006-07-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

For the majority of my adult life I've held to the idea that problems,
conflicts, obstacles, etc. are catalysts for change.

Usually that change is growth.

In any event, I'd like to think that I enjoy the problems in my life in
some weird way because their resolution typically brings some chance for
character development, self-improvement, or something along those lines.

I can look back on my life and see those bridges where some definite,
obvious changes (as well as more subtle ones) have resulted from the
situations I've been in and my actions in response to them.

However, right now is the first time in my life that I feel I'm changing
and being moved by God's hand in anticipation of something that is
going to happen. Instead of being changed by my circumstances, I'm
being changed for my circumstances.

It's kind of exciting, that much is true, but more accurately... it is very, very unsettling.

I'm seeing changes in the way I talk, and the things that I value, and
even the very way that I think.

It's kind of creepy to be so aware of these changes going on, but not
really know their purpose or why they are coming about.

Some of you might want to pull some caterpillar/butterfly metaphor on
me, but I'm not buying it.

I feel more like the guy that is turning into a werewolf and has NO idea
what the crap is happening to him.

Just a sec, I've got something else I want to take of first...

2006-06-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

At the top of the Gmail screen, there is a little tab that has a feed of
various little links with text ads and news tidbits, etc.

One of these links was for a story entitled, "Stop Procrastination Now."

As I read that, it seemed like a pretty potent statement.

Reading an article that could put me on the road to more efficient time
and resource management would be extremely beneficial to a person such
as myself that finds themselves wishing for more time in the day to take
care of things, to nurture relationships, etc.

I'll have to read it later, though. Right now I'm kinda busy writing
this.

Thanks, Rhett!

2006-06-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Rhett Smith is the Director of College Ministries at Bel Air Presbyterian Church and a dear friend. He wrote a blog recently about the various worship teams that have led worship at the college group during his tenure at Bel-Air Presbyterian. I had the distinct pleasure of playing bass for that group from about 2001-2004. I found Bel-Air at a time in my life where I was thinking about moving to San Diego and the community I found there was one of the big reasons I stayed in LA.

It's amazing to look back and see how that church has influenced and changed my life, especially once you factor in the worship aspect. My most profound personal and musical growth has taken place through the worship at Bel-Air and the relationships that formed around that. Who would have thought that one cigar cut in half and shared with the guy with the mini-white-boy-'fro and a flannel shirt with permanently rolled up sleeves that looked it was purloined from the closet of the Brawny paper towel guy would lead to a friendship cast in the mold of David and Jonathan's? Who would have thought that one summer camp worship gig would lead to some life-long friends and some of my most satisfying musical and personal endeavors?

Thanks to you Rhett for being such a great leader while I was in the group and then just a great friend as we've continued to spend time together even though I've long since moved on from the group.

Thanks to those friends I made there whose time and words I treasure so much and continue to be such a valued part of my life.

Thanks be to God for putting these people in my lives.

Where there's smoke...

2006-06-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

So last night I'm sitting on the couch playing video games with Matt. As I'm wont to do, I had myself a pour of scotch whilst relaxing on said couch. My favorite tipple as of late is Ardbeg 10. It has a well-deserved reputation of being one of the peatiest, smokiest scotches available, perhaps even more so than the venerable Laphroaig. This conversation took place on that couch.

Dave: Sips and savors his Ardbeg 10.

Dave: Continues to sip and savor his Ardbeg 10.

Dave: Sighs deeply in great satisfaction from sipping
and savoring his Ardbeg 10.

Matt: [looks around frantically]
Holy Crap! Is something burning?!
[pauses]
Oh… it's just your scotch.

Dave: Smiles, sips and savors his Ardbeg 10, with
slightly more obvious relish.

Don't you hate it when...

2006-06-08T16:03:00.000-07:00

you have music playing in the background and then realize that you're listening to Sammy Haggar?

And then get the sharp tang of bile and stomach acid in your mouth immediately thereafter?

And then want to perforate your eardrums with the nearest sharp object?

And then realize that if you did that, Sammy Haggar would be the last thing that you ever heard and then you'd have to kill yourself?

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

2006-05-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

So, it turns out that I like hip-hop.

Mike Ladd, Dead Prez, Dilated Peoples, Blackalicious, The Fugees, Mos Def, The Roots, Talib Kweli, Automato, The Notorious B.I.G. are all, apparently, hip-hop artists I like.

Who knew?

Thanks to the wondrous Pandora music player, (and a little influence from Matt Comer) I'm all about this breed of clever sample strewn, live instrument inflected, poetic form of music.

Basically, I have been hanging out with Matt a lot lately. He's moving in to my house soon and I can't wait. If we've spent any time together at all recently, you've heard vent my vexation at Kevin and Benton, my soon to be ex-roommates. Anyway, Matt is cool and is really into graffiti and hip-hop. Matt is such a great guy that I can't imagine him devoting himself to anything that is anything less than worthwhile. With that in mind, I decided that I need to give this hip-hop thing a chance, 'cause if he's all about it, there has to be something there that would merit my exploration. Turns out, there is.

I've never really been lyrics guy, but this new musical bent is changing all of that.

Immortal Technique's "The 4th Branch" is about how terrorist-bent Islamic radicals are forsaking the true teachings of the Koran and the contributions of Jesus Christ as the principal prophet in that text.

Nas' "I Think I Can" is an open letter to the kids of this nation to not waste the golden opportunities that are available to even the most destitute and impoverished one of them in this country if they make it happen.

Some of this stuff is really potent and is miles away from the blinged out/big-booty ho's image I previously held about hip-hop. It's not all necessarily this deep, but these are some standout examples of lyrics so dramatic that I can't not listen to them. And that's not to say that there isn't a lot of tripe in this genre, you just have to sift through it to get to the good stuff. But that's true of anything, right?

How much Brooks & Dunn can you handle before get to Nickel Creek?
How much Kenny G can you stand before you get to John Coltrane?
How much Nickelback can you stand before you get to Tool?

I'm finding more and more that you can't sweepingly dismiss something because of a few bad experiences or negative pre-conceived notion about it and that sometimes you have to work to find something worth spending your time on.

And I'm not just talking about music.

Chrissie's Comment

2006-04-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

I'm cool with brushing. Especially since the advent of all these crazy toothpaste flavors. Lemon Ice?! Why not! However, flossing has always been hard for me to get in the habit of for some reason. So I hit up the mouthwash and save flossing for special occasions. As a result, I'm somewhere between the Crest Whitestrips Ad Guy and 1960's British Guy on the Dental Hygiene Spectrum.

I'd never had a cavity before and other than my anti-floss agenda, I'm doing alright on the oral hygiene front. Or so I thought. The last time I went to a dentist, it was this hulking, angry Russian lady. She gets to working on me with the little hook thing and starts sighing and shaking her head. As she continues to perforate my gums with this razor-sharp instrument of pain she looks at me with disdain and says, in the thickest "Nadia" accent you can muster,
"Mr. Ross! Dirty, dirty dirty!."

So that was my last dentist's visit.

I was a teenager.

Pass the Plax, please.

Hmm.

2006-04-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

"The good Lord has set aside your portion,
but you raised yourself too dumb to find it."

From Angels by Jay Buchanan

Internal Dialogue

2006-04-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

Here's a snippet of my internal dialogue while I was out to breakfast with Mark on Saturday. We went to the S&W Country Diner on Washington in Downtown Culver City.
Want breakfast? Go there. But bring cash, they're old school.

On with the show...

Hey, look. A girl. She's kinda cute. Kinda looks like Chrissie. Look at that guy. He looks all beardy and spiky. He kinda looks like Brian's friend Scott, but cooler. Man, these sausage patties are great. I can't remember the last time I had a sausage patty. I'll bet they taste better than links because there is more sausage surface area on the grill, creating more char. Char is good. Hey, if that girl looks like Chrissie and that guy looks like Scott, it must be Chrissie and Scott because seeing two people that look like two other people that I know that would hang out with each other hanging out with each other is unlikely. Besides, there's Scott's wife. Lara. I'm really glad I sprang the extra dollar for banana pancakes. I can't believe how freakin' grub this place is. I'm definitely coming back. Man, I sure am full. I wonder how much food I just ate. That had to be like... 7 ounces of sausage. 3/5 of four pancakes is like two-and-a-half pancakes. Shit, I should have gotten the short stack and that would have cancelled out the dollar for the bananas. Live and learn. What's a pancake weigh? Like 4 ounces? So that's 10 ounces of pancakes. 7 ounces of sausage. 2.5 cups of coffee is.. is.. 20 ounces. So 37 ounces all together, that's more than two pounds. Sheesh. DAMN! Dry ounces and wet ounces are different, so that's like just over a pound of food and then 20 ounces of coffee. That's 1.25 pints. This ounces thing is all jacked up. I should have been thinking volume. Wait, aren't wet ounces volume? But dry ounces are weight. I wish the metric system wasn't so gay, I could do this all in deciliters and be done with it. Oh wait, there's Scott and Chrissie and Lara. Do I have to say, 'Hi.' to them? If I don't and they see me and then I look back and make eye contact even though I was trying not to, it might be awkward. I'm going to go over and say, 'Hi.' before I leave. Damn it! I forgot to include how many ounces of syrup and butter were on my pancakes.

I want...

2006-04-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

I want to replace my cell phone ring with the sound of your tinkling laughter.

I want to draw the irises of your eyes from memory.

I want to learn how to dance, just to have an excuse to hold you close.

I want to spin around in circles in the falling snow until we both get dizzy.

I want to find out your favorite meal so that I can learn how to cook it.

I want to read Pablo Neruda poems aloud to you, in Spanish.

I want to run my hands through your hair.

I want to have a shirt that I won't wash, because it smells like you.

I want to put a picture of you making a funny face on my desk.

I want to fall asleep with you on my couch after we watch an old movie.

I want to thank God everyday for placing the kind of woman I never thought could exist in my life.

I want to find you.

Life is good.

2006-04-11T00:39:00.000-07:00

That is all.

Reach out and touch someone. And by "someone" I mean "me.'

2006-03-31T17:01:00.000-08:00

You made me cry today.

Every time I'm at work and I go to the bathroom and there's not a new e-mail in my inbox when I come back, I die a little bit on the inside.

I don't care who it's from and I probably don't care what it's about, either. As long as I see a number in parentheses next to the word "Inbox" when I get back, I'm a happy camper.

That's not to diminish the importance of the individual e-mails and their respective senders, of course. Kyle's cryptically worded messages (Like, "Howard Jew? Wee shed gait two gate hare poor lynch to die." It makes absolutely no sense. Until you read it out loud really fast and then really slow a bunch of times. And then it still probably won't make sense, unless you're crazy awesome with puns and wordplay. Post a comment [which will send me an e-mail; YES!] if you figure it out. But don't put down the answer, or someone will copy you. So just send a comment letting me know that you got it. And then the next time I see you, I'll ask you about it. If you're right, I totally give you a high-five. If not, I'll scoff, reeeaaaaal loud.), TJ's double-entendre soaked notes, Brian's responses to the TheOnion.com articles I send him are indicative of the sweet e-mails that I get. Knowing that one of those nuggets of goodness is waiting for me just makes me happy, no matter who it's from.

What is it that makes me so excited when my new message indicator fades into its brief, but glorious existence?
What provides that euphoric rush?

Is it the diversion from my wearisome job?
Is it the attention?
Is it the reminder that I have some pretty kick-ass friends?
Is it the fact that those kick-ass friends care enough about me to jot down something that'll make me laugh?

Who knows?

What I do know is that I need more.

So the next time you get bored at work, don't just yawn, send me an e-mail.
But it better be funny.

Sick Day

2006-03-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

Sick Day

A very short play by Dave Ross

Brian takes a sip from his Pacifico and exhales deeply, as if in
preparation for a tense moment. He pick up his phone and dials.
We hear the outgoing ring, and the click as it's answered.

JESUS: JC here, what can I do ya for?

Brian: Jesus, hey, man it's, uh, Brian. Colmery.

JESUS: B! What's happenin' buddy? How's things at Shoreline?
Nice haul last week, by the way.

Brian: Thanks. Hey, about that, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it into to church to preach today. I'm kinda not feeling well. I had these walnuts, and I don't know, I don't think they were bad, but they were raw, and I kinda ate a lot of them and everybody knows hard it can be to dig...

JESUS: Brian, that's not true. You're in Mexico with Dave and RJ.
And it looks like you're drinking a Pacifico... at 8:00 AM. I can see you. Remember?

Brian: MAN this is awkward.

The End.

Gimme a break, I'm on vacation

2006-02-25T23:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of things I ate today:

A pot roast, bacon and cheddar omelet
Pancakes with butter pecan syrup
Several cups of black coffee
Chocolate covered espresso beans
An El Pollo Loco chicken breast
Avocado Salsa
Mashed potatoes
Corn niblets
Turkey milanese
Mushroom Risotto
Schneider-weisse German wheat beer
Kahlua cream pie

I'm visiting my mom and have five days of this kind of treatment left.

I'm going to need to buy bigger pants.

Thanks, SU!

2006-02-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

Here's another gem from StumbleUpon:

This website pokes some serious fun at www.ready.gov the Department of Homeland Security's website about terrorist attack preparedness. Enjoy.

Cholesterol is the least of your worries.

2006-02-20T23:41:00.000-08:00

Brochacho!

2006-02-17T00:26:00.000-08:00

Brochacho!

That's a cross between "bro" and "muchacho," spanish slang for "guy."

We'll see if it sticks.

You can help, if you want to.

Holy Crap, my freaking face hurts!

2006-02-16T17:23:00.000-08:00

Are you kids familiar with the StumbleUpon toolbar? On a scale of one to ten, it's the coolest thing ever.

You set up categories you like (some of mine are cigars, audio, homebrewing, satire and ethics) and you get a magic toolbar with the pretty little "Stumble!" button that basically channel-surfs the internet within any one or all of the categories you signed up for.

It's amazing. At helping you waste time.

I guess you could use it for research or something, but that would be like using a microwave for rapidly and conveniently heating up food instead of exploding light bulbs and seeing how long it takes to melt stuff.

I've stumbled upon such gems as this game where you dropkick the members of a punk band off the stage and see how far you can make them fly, or this list of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts. Check out this nugget of goodness:

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Uncle Caveman! You can't write stuff like that. That's Jack Handey's job!

Now imagine reading that at work and trying not to laugh out loud.
That's why my face hurts.